@RelatableQuote: She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, we are both very unprepared for this cold weather
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@LoveNLunchmeat: "Clean up after yourselves. Your mother doesn't live here!" I holler at my kids, completely forgetting several key details.
@KingRainhead: date: i had fun tonight me: me too me: *mashes mouth against one cheek & slowly drags it across their whole face* me: that's how slugs kiss
@amydillon: I'm going to donate these clothes I don't wear anymore to charity after I drive them around in the trunk of my car for eight months.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: *drops toddler off at gym daycare* DC: Which room will you be working out in? Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.