@bobvulfov: (sheepishly putting my arm around pitbull) so is there a mrs worldwide
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@TheToddWilliams: "Nothing is certain, except death and taxis." Don't you mean "ta-- *gets run over by a cab*
@ch000ch: woops did i leave both of my bowling trophies in my hands during sex again that's embarrassing
@topaz_kell: And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
@Breadery: Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?