@bobvulfov: (sheepishly putting my arm around pitbull) so is there a mrs worldwide
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@KalvinMacleod: [buying a USB cord at Best Buy] that'll be $29.99 [buying a USB cord off Amazon] here, take 5 cords for $4.99 and I'll throw in a free horse
@RorynotRoy: "I don't want you to freak out, but..." - someone with a shaky grasp of how anxiety works
@venomjunkie2: I keep a banana in my pocket just in case, because I’m really not glad to see anybody.
@TheRolo: Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one.