@whatmaddness: "She's more afraid of you than you are of her," the mother reassures her child, as I scramble away to keep it from touching me.
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@JimmerThatisAll: People who say "in and of itself" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world.
@CanadianCyn: This pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'. That doesn't even make sense.
@iwearaonesie: me: time to apologize. did you eat the receipt? 8: yup me: ok cause if mom finds out we bought these flowers at the grocery store we're dead
@UnFitz: "Sorry" seems to be the hardest word? There's "Worcestershire," "anemone" & "otorhinolaryngologist." But whatever.