@hazelmotes1: She's not my fake internet girlfriend, she's my eBae.
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@mommywhitfield: I just want to be half as productive as my mom thinks she would be if she was me.
@Kirangandhi: HORROR STORY- U are the only one alive in a post apocalyptic world. U tweet and it gets retweeted!
@SufficientCharm: What do you mean you're not going to spank me? I mouthed off and everything. What kind of man are you?
@hardlyrelevant: (in dog boss' office) "Smith, you're fired." Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) "Wait Smith get back here"