@hazelmotes1: She's not my fake internet girlfriend, she's my eBae.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: Went on a trampoline with my 1 year old and learned that if you jump JUST right it unfortunately turns into a baby catapult.
@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*
@AnOrangeSNES: [Batman & Joker at a table in Arkham Asylum] Joker: Wanna know I got these Scars? *He gestures at his Lion King action figures* Batman: Ugh