@hazelmotes1: She's not my fake internet girlfriend, she's my eBae.
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@ramblinma: *cuts up plastic rings so no hypothetical animal will choke on them* *will not hold the elevator for a single person, ever*
@LaziestCanine: "911 what's your emergency" IM DYING "what happened" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES "lol pics or didn't happen"
@scott_towel: Convicted of murdering the English language, he was sentenced to death by elocution.
@NicestHippo: You know how sometimes you destroy your house & instead of cleaning you're like "Screw it let's just move?" That's why we're exploring space