@Ideal_Victoria: Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@senorwinces: Take a look at trending topics and you'll realize why they have to write "do not eat" on dry silica packets.
@weinerdog4life: A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds
@Whitnuts: I always try to tell myself that I don't actually hate people as much as I say I do...and then I go to the mall.
@dshack8: Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch.