@jergarl: Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose.
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@rad_milk: im the guy responsible for throwing the chicken in the air for fried chicken commercials. i will never reveal my secret method's
@punmagnate: Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
@CheryeDavis: Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.
@SincerelyMen: I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.