@jergarl: Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose.
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@causticbob: Wife: Hi, did you eat? Me: Did you eat? Wife: Are you copying me? Me: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you! Me: Yes, I already ate
@buhsbaby_baby: Spiderman ruined romance for me. Please don't even think of kissing me unless you're hanging upside down from a building.
@Tommytoughstuff: Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me.
@pleatedjeans: Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say "you suck" so the target still gets the message