@leechee420: Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable.
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@radtoria: Spider Island Day 1: The arachnids are intelligent & friendly hosts. They even built me a hammock to ensure my comfort. Day 2: I was wrong.
@DomBorrett: Me: 'I love you so much, I'll see you later beautiful' Girlfriend: 'I love you too' Me: *Looks up from patting dog* 'Yeah see you later'
@avaricious1: I saw a spider in my bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got in an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch.
@causticbob: I got kicked out of the casino in Las Vegas. I didn't cheat. I just misunderstood what the craps table was for.