@kumailn: Shocking that people who've been physically assaulting each other for 3 hours would lose their tempers.
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@AmishPornStar1: Don't you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
@Karissajem: So, this woman stopped to ask me if my hair color was "supposed to look natural." My hair is purple, guys. Purple.
@PaperWash: Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me? "Nah" *cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect* Cop: *wiping tears* I'm over it
@AbbyHasIssues: I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table.