@glenc217: Shockingly, the gyroscope is NOT a device used to locate Greek restaurants.
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@Playing_Dad: Major Tom: This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door & I'm floating in a most peculiar way GC: New phone. Who dis?
@DanRegans: I miss the old days when I could say I wasn't around and you couldn't check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
@3sunzzz: Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?
@MarfSalvador: [Bowling date] Her: Your shoes are HUGE! Does that mean... Me: Yes [Whispers seductively] I have an 8 inch toe