@briancthayer: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the other losers who missed a 15 million square mile target.
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@mstluvstrinkets: Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage.
@AnkCoupleTO: [3 guys corner me in an alley] 3G: Bet you're scared Me: *shows them my wife's credit card bills* 3G: *hand over their wallets* holy shit
@frankzulla: Watching an episode of Star Trek (original series) and my 8 year old says the uniforms remind her of The Wiggles. I can't unsee it now
@rickolantern: The human race won't go extinct when our blood turns into high fructose corn syrup Our demise will come when hummingbirds figure it out