@jwoodham: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you've got 5 more rounds in the chamber. You'll get that moon eventually. He'll pay for what he did.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: We need to hire smarter people. HR: Why? Me: Is there someone smarter I can talk to about this? HR...
@kiralc: i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad.
@juliussharpe: I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn't stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
@panmidwest: [world series game 1] Wife: where are our seats? Hamlet: 2b... Wife: there are people there Hamlet: or not 2b