@bridger_w: Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I'm bored of paying for things
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@TheTweetOfGod: "Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.
@Easy_Tiger__: If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her.
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She thinks I'm foolish with money "He used our life savings to buy a tiger" YOU SAID YOU WANTED A CAT, KAREN
@kharizzmaaa: Happy Mother's Day to the woman who told me "I could fall out at home" when I asked for Fall Out Boy tickets at age 14