@bridger_w: Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I'm bored of paying for things
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@SomthinBoutSara: I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights.
@murrman5: "daddy I hear footsteps on the roof, it must be Santa" *checks santa tracker* new zealand? *grabs frying pan and knife* go get in bed, son
@pinapl: When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I'd like to withdraw 3 sausages and a packet of peanuts please." Man: "That isn't how a food bank works, sir."