@_sleepysmile: Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
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@SamuelMoen: When I die, my only wish is for my corpse to be respectfully catapulted onto a whitewater raft of people going down the Colorado river
@WilliamAder: People keep talking about the new Star Wars trailer. In my day, Star Wars had SPACESHIPS!
@CEHudspeth: "I can try" is a great response to invitations because you're not even committing to trying.