@KentWGraham: Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig’s List just a week after we updated our life insurance?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@djdarrellripley: Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend...
@bobby: when someone calls you and you miss the call but you call them back literally one second later and they don't answer. what's going on there. did you drop your telephone in a well. did you get axe murdered.
@TheCatWhisprer: MY ANCESTOR: [running full speed through a field to avoid a lion] ME: [in an air conditioned gym realizing i forgot my earbuds] no way i can run like this