@theyearofelan: Should I buy a new pair of sunglasses or just leave $60 in a restaurant?
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@ibid78: Don't even talk to me unless you're an actual cup of coffee. In which case I'd listen to your story as I slowly sip the life from you.
@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
@WritingWilkie: The most embarrassing moment of my life was when I called my teacher "mom" during sex.