@theyearofelan: Should I buy a new pair of sunglasses or just leave $60 in a restaurant?
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@thetobbie: The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
@Jake_Vig: "You see those footprints? It looks like our killer had feet." - If you want to know why I was fired as a writer on CSI.
@JermHimselfish: A great white shark is just a normal shark with khakis and a high credit score.
@Rollinintheseat: *Shakespeare resetting his password* "Enter new password." Fortnight "Your password is two weeks."