@CatherineLMK: Should I ever go missing, please don’t let the news use my 7th grade picture.
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@Shock_Monster: If I were God, I'd totally be cool with you using my name in vain. Feel free to say, "Oh John" next time you're cumming ladies.
@KyleMcDowell86: "Is that a banana in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me haha" [i pull a hand full of lasagna out of my pocket] "Actually it's lasagna"
@zachheltzel: Never tell a psycho that they're psycho, because then they feel like they're obligated to prove it.