@heatherjs: Shouldn't Spiderman have 4 more legs?
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@Thynebear: [first date at a chinese restaurant] "So are you more of a dog or a cat person?" *reading menu* I was thinking orange chicken but you do you
@TheMichaelRock: Never laugh at a toddlers joke unless you want to hear it repeated 425 more times.
@Cheeseboy22: Overheard in 2nd grade class today: "Do your work! Santa's watching right now." "Yeah, my mom told me that ship has sailed for me long ago."