@CulturedRuffian: SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE WEATHER REPORTERS RISKING LIFE & LIMB SO WE CAN ALL KNOW WHAT A 130MPH HURRICANE LOOKS LIKE IN THE DARK!
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@iamburtjarvis: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. righty-tighty, lefty-loosey her: what? me: what?
@QwertyJones3: "My brother's coming over for dinner." Ugh, is he still talking only in country names? *brother walks in* "Chad Hungary. Jamaica Turkey?"