@DaHess1: Shout out to bicyclists that yell "on your left" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with.
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@desusnice: i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he's nice enough to say both their first & last name
@kyle_thatisall: The years 2045. 90s kids are old &wrinkly. Grandma tosses seeds to pigeons "Go insane go insane throw sum glitter make it rain" she whispers
@pleatedjeans: [approaches outdoor cafe holding balloon w/face drawn on it] Hello table for two ple- [large gust carries balloon away] OH NO MY WIFE
@DougBenson: I don't like it when my phone puts a word in "quotals" like I made it up or I'm stupid or something.