@sbellelauren: shout out to camera phones not being invented until well after my glo-stick period
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@Jennifergr8: Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard.
@QuinOShea: When my wife said let's do something fun for our anniversary I had no idea she meant together. I'm a man not a mind reader. I forgive you.
@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is when I’m drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time...