@WhatevaConc: Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
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@Schmoodles: Me: When does karaoke start? Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I ? Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.
@DearAuntAbby: If you listen carefully you can hear the sound of raindrops sighing. Really, you can hear almost anything if you're high enough.
@EndhooS: My wife says brushing my teeth when sitting on the toilet is disgusting but honestly this toilet brush is almost brand new