@shegotagronk: Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did.
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@Fred_Delicious: "Dad can we get a puppy?" "No but we can get a submarine if you like?" [2 hours later 3000m beneath the pacific] "dad I should be at school"
@TheMichaelRock: Recipes sound good until you realize that you don't have $846 worth of spices in your house.
@Quartzjixler: Nothing says "I enjoyed the taste of paste, fingerpaint, and crayons in first grade" more than a potato chip bag opened from the bottom.