@shegotagronk: Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did.
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@robdelaney: My plane has an entire high school wrestling team on it, so I imagine we'll crash in a forest & I'll become their King.
@kiralc: i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad.
@gerryhallcomedy: Sadly learned my family is racist. I started dating a black girl. Brought her home to meet the family. Wife and kids wouldn't talk to her.
@Vodkantots: If a guy doesn't return your texts for 4 months, it might be over. It probably isn't, but it might be.