@shegotagronk: Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: [2 years after going missing at zoo] wife: [points at TV] "omg thats him" me: [on the news inside kangaroos pouch] "why is noone helping me"
@BrettDruck: It's always the Great Wall of China, but I feel bad for all the other walls in China. They're like "Hey i'm a pretty good wall too."