@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to political bumper stickers, changing nobody's mind and lowering the value of your car and whatnot.
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@Crunk_Jews: You can tell a lot about a person by what they're willing to do during conjugal visits.
@PieChord: Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons. I won't try religion for bacon reasons.
@SufficientCharm: What do you mean you're not going to spank me? I mouthed off and everything. What kind of man are you?
@MidlifeDish: "This is the last time I'm going to tell you!" *Biggest lie parents tell kids "And I mean it." *Biggest lie parents tell themselves