@RocketRankoon: Shout out to Pringles for admitting they're addictive, unlike cigarettes and heroin the two biggest liars of the snack industry.
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@AverageCorners: "Grab a Pop Tart!" I tell my kids as I'm mixing up the dogs' breakfasts of organic, grain-free dog food with Greek yogurt and $85 vitamins.
@Maxine12333: If you're feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
@jdbalani: The self checkout lane was probably invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.