@NakedWhiteAss: Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches.
@brynnester: Me, an Astronaut: *home from mission* Her: And so you're back Me: Do we have to do the Gloria Gaynor thing everytime? Her: From outer space
@PaulyPeligroso: To spice things up in the bedroom, I have my wife dress up as a pizza boy. Then, I have her put the pizza on the counter and then leave.