@Jayson_Two_time: Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
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@AmishPornStar1: If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making it offensive enough!
@Parentpains: I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked.
@MattMcElaney: GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I'd rather be "uncool" than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex.