@junejuly12: Shout out to the person who had the balls to open the first no kids allowed restaurant
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@badenhorst: Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.
@pinningnut: N: Why are you picking up rocks? M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.