@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 waters in the world, holy, tap, you can lead a horse to, baby with the bath and bridge over troubled.
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@cepheusjackson: WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot
@underchilde: I don’t need to use WebMD because my mother always knows a person who had something similar to me, and she remembers how they got rid of it.