@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 waters in the world, holy, tap, you can lead a horse to, baby with the bath and bridge over troubled.
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@TheAlexNevil: If you hear one of the high piano keys repeating slowly, you’re either watching a trailer for a horror movie, or you are a parent.
@hot_coughy: When a woman says "I can't even tell you how upset I am right now" just wait 3 seconds.
@EmergencyQB: How much do you want to bet that the inventor of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?
@TheBoydP: I’m not saying it’s hard for me to lose weight, I’m just saying if you interrupt me when I’m eating I’m starting over.