@1Happytwit: Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Breadery: Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?
@Karissajem: Me: I have a memory like an elephant. Him: Elephants get drunk all the time and forget everything too? Me: Yes.
@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.