@1Happytwit: Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
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@Bluestmoon_: *Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds "extremely organized" to resume.
@2tickytacky: I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see.
@Ohhialypie: Girls: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Guys: I don't mind Girls: Like a huge mess Guys: ok Girls: Like dead bodies on fire Guys: ok
@frankzulla: You ever rub yourself with tuna and go to a cat shelter to seem like you're a cat whisperer? Doc: We're gonna need a bigger straightjacket.