@JanelSantaCruz: Shoutout to Batman for being a true American and proving the only superpower you need is money.
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@SamuelHLowe: - You always have to have the last word. - THAT IS A LIE! - OK, I'm sorry. - Spatula.
@HandyJack420: Wait...so I get a million dollars AND I get to punch a baby in the face? -me when someone asks if I would punch a baby for a million bucks
@Sickayduh: [First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?
@TheBoydP: HGTV has taught me you can do anything if you have the right tools. I’ve also learned that any handyman you hire will have those tools.