@peterjames48: SHOUTOUT TO LIBRARIANS! (*sorry*)
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@JustDontBugMe: [During an ultrasound scan] Doctor:The baby looks fine. Mom:See? that's your baby sister in there! 3:What??Mom, why did you eat the baby?
@david8hughes: To the guy who just sent me a Snapchat of him putting his ketchup in the refrigerator, well done. You've made a powerful enemy.
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?