@peterjames48: SHOUTOUT TO LIBRARIANS! (*sorry*)
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@weinerdog4life: No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat! *throws cat at Kinko's employee
@Henry_3k: As ice water runs down my face I conclude, "Boy, you sure like to eat bread!" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing.
@DonQuickoats: The best way to respond to a limp handshake is to tickle their palm with your middle finger