@ValeeGrrl: Shoutout to moms leaving long birthday notes to their kids on social media when their child is both illiterate and not on social media.
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@GrumpyComments: It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl's "I haven't finished but I know you're about to, so I'll try to be supportive" moan.
@UncleDuke1969: [loud knocking] “OPEN UP. IT’S THE POLICE!” Me: Prove it. “HOW?” Me: Sing “Roxanne.”
@Ready_Set_Nope: I just overheard my kid muttering "I'm sorry you had to see that" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what "that" was right?