@DrBacos: Shoutout to my Cold War reenactment group! We're just a bunch of chill white guys, sitting at a table, acting stressed about the USSR.
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@sarcasm_inc: A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called "disappointed" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress.
@jwoodham: There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight, so remember that when they ask how they lost in 2016.
@trojansauce: [me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo