@weinerdog4life: Shoutout to my upstairs neighbors who wrestled a large moose last night
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@KattsDogma: French guy (showing me his yachts): This is Un. This is Deux. This is Trois. This is Quatre. This is Six. Me: Where's the 5th? FG: Cinq.
@NYC_Blonde: The way my neighbors are making their trick-or-treating kids skip my door you'd think I was handing out ecstasy pills like last year.
@thenatewolf: Me: my doctor says if I get annoyed I could die You: so you can't watch that YouTube link? Me: I'm saying it's dangerous to even send them