@Bill_Nye_Tho: SHOUTS OUT TO UTERUSES, THE ORIGINAL 3-D PRINTERS
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@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
@: My 7-year-old wrote this joke: What's a zombie's favorite weather? A brainstorm. I've never been more proud.
@mostunladylike: *holds pen ready* "How many zeros in one million?" "Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*
@SocialustGal13: There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people