@Bill_Nye_Tho: SHOUTS OUT TO UTERUSES, THE ORIGINAL 3-D PRINTERS
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@Playing_Dad: [Cops at crime scene] Cop 1: Criminal scum. They must have taken every single toilet. Cop 2: Wow, they really left us nothing to go on.
@HenpeckedHal: I learned two things today: 1) my mother-in-law is coming over for dinner 2) it takes me 1 hour 47 minutes to get home from work in idle
@lazerdoov: If you're wondering if humans are idiots we hunt ducks with guns when they will walk right up to you if you have bread