@Dawn_M_: Show him you care by leaving the message "I see you" on his bathroom mirror.
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@rotten_mamma: 3:Mommy why do I have to wear a coat, it's not that cold out!? Me:So other Moms don't judge me and talk shit, Buddy.
@rockymomax: FLIGHT ATTENDANT: omg is anyone a doctor? ME: *stands up confidently and turns to flight attendant* you forgot my Diet Coke
@chimneyspotter: I would describe most of my social interactions at parties as "when you turn on the kitchen faucet and the water hits a spoon in the sink"