@IamEnidColeslaw: SHOW ME A PHOTO OF YOUR INFANT I WILL SHOW YOU 20 OF MY CAT
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@CrissySpeaks79: My 7 year old son told me "You're the most beautiful mommy ever!" I asked him what he did and where's he hiding it.
@seriouslyemily: I like my men like I like my packets of instant oatmeal: Chunky and knowledgeable with facts about dinosaurs."
@MyPornKhan: Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think, "Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."