@TheBoydP: Show me someone who says "once you try black you never go back" and I'll show you someone who's never had an overripe banana.
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@JesseFernandez: Thank god attorneys let us know they're attorneys "at law" so we don't assume they're attorneys at garlic bread or something.
@QuintinForbes: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as nice as this time last year.
@bourgeoisalien: if someone asks you about yourself say "OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story" then just wander off
@E_lok44: If you want your uninvited guests to leave, seat them comfortably in the basement, then go upstairs and watch TV.