@JllyJllyFish: Show someone you love them today by rearranging the apps on their phone.
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@Bagyants: Power Rangers taught me that the way to solve a problem is to pose in front of it aggressively until it explodes
@david8hughes: [at the opera] Me: what's wrong with that guy Wife: shh! Me: but he's tiny, he can barely hold that violin Wife [whispers]: that's a cello
@juliussharpe: I don't have a problem with steroids in sports since I think anyone who can give themselves a shot is the bravest person in the world.
@chuuew: [BOOK CLUB] ME: So last weeks assignment was Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. What did everyone think? STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE: