@JllyJllyFish: Show someone you love them today by rearranging the apps on their phone.
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@graceful_asfuck: Nurse: What is your pain level? Me: 5 Nurse: What level is acceptable to you? Me: Uhh 0, you psycho
@MattMcC1: in canada if you pat your pockets to show a hobo that you have no change and he hears your keys jingle, you have to give him your house.