@lafpgh: Showed my husband all the super-awesome Twitter lists I'm on. He put me on a list called People I Probably Shouldn't Have Married.
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@Lowenaffchen: if swimming is really exercise then why dont fish have mega muscles. yeah i thought so. drain the pool so we can skateboard in it
@joryjohn: [Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: "What's his name?" Parent: "Ethan." Me: "The movie's starting, Ethan."