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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Shower like nobody is watching.
@fillthevacuum: *adds resume embellisher to resume*
@jdforshort: "Hitting it hard as shit" and "tickling the hole" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today
@mishakey: I don't come into YOUR bathroom and tell YOU how to tweet.
@unravelingfire: I'm like Harvard. Hard to get into, but once you're in, everyone is super impressed.
@KeetPotato: advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being "better than sex" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them