@aSapCoolDad: *shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race
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@Howiesbookclub: Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else.
@HouseWithDoors: *playing poker* *my opponent smirks* "All in." he says. *pair of aces* *I smile* *throws down a pair of Olsen twins* "Full House."
@Dschnoeb: I think the only girl I know that hasn't said "you're like a brother to me" is my sister.