@8bitf0x: *shows up to salsa lessons with tostitos* haha what the heck are you idiots doing
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@murrman5: [parent/teacher meeting] "you must've read to him as a baby" *leans forward in little desk* lady, I didn't even know him when I was a baby
@NathanBgood: They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer.
@SondraDeeMe: If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing.
@adultblackmale: if you told 18 year old me that in 10 years i'd be thinkin about harriet tubman on 4/20 instead of weed, i'd have said "whos harriet tubman"