@AlexvanBeek: SHUT UP. BEES CAN'T SPELL.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Twitter is great for when you really want life advice, but from people who do cocaine for breakfast.
@SukaBlunt: I learned 2 things at least when I was married 1. Always passcode lock your phone 2. Don't use a nude pic of your gf as the lock screen
@WilliamRodgers: TRUE STORY Just made this restaurant change its "All you can drink Brunch" Policy.
@KevinFarzad: If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute.