@yogaknifefight: Shut up laundry.Nobody wants to do you.
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@joejwest: COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend
@KenJennings: If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?
@lovemyboots111: Apparently asking the boss " who ignited the fuse on your tampon?" will get you sent to HR.
@FUN: Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing.