@yogaknifefight: Shut up laundry.Nobody wants to do you.
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@jonnysun: the next time u see a fork in the road, just try to remeber that at least, no mater wat u did, u werent the person who tried to eat the road
@er0tikka: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn.
@Naked_Superman: What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
@isabelzawtun: The most romantic way to propose is to put the ring in their dessert and when they bite it and break their tooth you yell "surprise, babe, you're gonna be my wife and I have DENTAL COVERAGE"