@yogaknifefight: Shut up laundry.Nobody wants to do you.
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@freypalm: Me: Ew, what sort of shop is this? It just sells dead birds? My cat: Pick out whatever you want, birthday boy. It's on me.
@HomeProbably: I've received so many Christmas cards from people I don't know this year, probably because they weren't addressed to me.
@d_duhwit: Car salesman: and it has a back up camera Me: Cool, where's the main camera? Cs: Sorry no this is for backing up Me: Ah, to the cloud Cs: no