@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Hearing now that the government closed the Grand Canyon. Not sure if they roll a tarp over it or how that works.
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@papasuncle: God: Basically u just chill. Cow: Nice. God: I mean, at first. Cow: ...then? God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat.
@SCbchbum: Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work.
@GrumpyBahr: Me: Grandma died, can't work today. Boss: Thought she died last month? Me: This time she is for real dead. We poked her with a stick.