@Kristen_Arnett: sibling culture is not talking to each other for awhile and then texting them “this is you” along with a picture of an ugly bird you found online
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@stevevsninjas: [Earth, looking at her face in mirror after a date] Oh, no! How long has that volcano been there?
@BlindChow: GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWS™: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf
@meladoodle: Hate it when dudes say "leave something to the imagination!" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?
@Griffinreborn: In 2009 we lost Michael Jackson. Now we lost Neil Armstrong. We are running out of moon walkers