@danguterman: Sick of the media always blaming video games for the rise in fantastical jewel-seeking quests.
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@egg_dog: facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
@SteelFontana: I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well.
@1Bad_Scientist: Me: how was your date? Friend: I ruined her panties. M: Wow that's hot man. F: No she got food poisoning from my cooking, bro.
@jwoodham: A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can't even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble.