@danguterman: Sick of the media always blaming video games for the rise in fantastical jewel-seeking quests.
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@thenatewolf: *Creator of Charlie Brown sits down to draw a cartoon* What do eight-year-old boys look like again? Bald? It's bald, right?
@ArcaneAndAdrift: Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off
@truegritrumble: ME: I hit my neighbors car. CAT: I killed my last 4 owners. ME: YOU CAN TALK! CAT: ... ME: Wait, what did you just say? CAT: *blinks*