@blaudiablogan: Sign at the gas station: "Bathroom is no longer available." I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AntozWolf: I ask myself, "How did I get here?," I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.
@pleatedjeans: [blood bank] Doc inserts needle [turns around] YOU AGAIN! [vampire sucking on tube like straw] GO ON SCOOT [chases him from room with broom]
@mjkspeaks: [job interview] How did you lose your last job? "I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.