@MagsDickson: Simply brilliant...
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@shutupmikeginn: Everyday I walk to work by a Ferrari dealership, put my nose against the etched glass window and say, "someday I'll own a window this nice."
@sixthformpoet: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
@SirEviscerate: ME: *sits* BARBER: You're completely bald. ME: Just snip the scissors around my ears and gently touch my head for 10 mins, please.